Monday, July 31, 2006

you know you've left japan when.. Part I

11:41 PM

• things are suddenly made to fit your size and height
• people are rude
• portions are huge
• the flight attendants say "uh-huh" and "ungh-huh" to you
• it looks like you are really disturbing the flight attendants when you ask for a cup of apple juice
• the shower head is about a foot above your head
• the shower pressure is so strong you think it may blow you right out of the bathroom
• you are freezing in 25 degree weather, and you wear socks, jeans, a sweater and a scarf to compensate
• people on airplanes think you have the plague because you are sporting a lavender-scented face mask (to protect you from other people and the gross environment that is an airplane cabin)
• flight attendants are old and fat
• people are rude (is this a repeat?)
  
• people are fat
• people have terrible fashion
• you could spend an hour just staring at the cheese and bread section of your local supermarket
• you go to a natural foods store and almost die of happiness
• your bed feels almost too soft and too big
• you sleep under a duvet, and its July
  
• you do the dishes without breaking your back nor appearing as though you have just wet your pants- because, the sink is at an appropriate level as opposed to down to your knees
• there is a dishwasher and a full-sized oven in the house!
• and a dryer- oh my!
• you can wear low-cut tops and still be conservative
• people all around you are smoking pot, having a couple beers and then driving home
• you walk the street and go unnoticed because you are no one
• you go to the park and see two well-endowed ladies almost nude, sunbathing
• you have an hour-long conversation with the guy next to you on the airplane (also from quebec) about his recent separation with his partner, the division of goods and care of the children, in great detail
• everyone speaks English, and French
  

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